Arts N Craps, Fool.

I was on Myspace today & when I checked my mail, I noticed a little bar telling me I could add a search feature to my mail, & naturally I thought, "This could be handy..." & handy it was. My friend Amy & I were just talking the other day, & we remembered a survey I posted in a bulletin years ago (come to find out it was March 1, 2007 to be exact), & tons of people replied to it, because I'm a silly little bitch. I knew it was hiding in my inbox, just waiting to be found, just waiting to be relived, but alas...I have 500 pages of messages in my inbox on Myspace & it would take me forever to find it. Welllll, not anymore :) I searched & FOUND my survey I took :) Enjoy...



Subject: about my tattoos. i have like 18.
Body: If you have ink, do this survey. Its fun!

1. How many tattoos do you have?:
i already said like 18.

2. When did you get your first tattoo?:
as soon as i came out of the womb. my parents tattooed "FINKE" across my back in an old english style font.

3. What was your first tattoo?
a tiger followed by the phrase "i aint never scared" on my right calf. i got it done when i was in nam.

4. Which tattoo is closest to your heart?
the sweet ass soccer ball i got tattooed on my left tit.

5. Do you have a matching tattoo with someone?:
yeah, my best friend patricia and i got the iguanas hockey team logo on our ribcages. man was that a crazy tuesday! no more drinking on our lunchbreak! but it was worth getting fired, right patty?

6. Do you have a tattoo that someone messed up?
i was supposed to get "no limits" on my lower back, but they accidentally put "no boundaries" and i am not a walmart poster child, so i got it covered. its now a tarantula eating its offspring and
george w smith headbanging out of control. its actually a hologram. if i dance all sexy, you can see him jam out. with his clam out.

7. Do you have any one's name tattooed on you?
sure do. i have a huge piece on my back with all the signatures on the declaration of independence. john hancocks is the biggest, naturally. thats what she said. ;)

8. What was the most painful tattoo you received?
the members of "tatu" on each foot.

9. Have you ever cried during a tattoo?
no. im a winner. winners dont cry. WINNERS NEVER CRY.

11. Do you have a tattoo that you constantly have to explain?
the dodge durango i got on my face. that was probably not a good choice.

12. Have you ever gotten an infection from a tattoo?
hepatitis a. through z.

13. What is the longest session you've ever sat straight?
i like to wiggle a lot to make it more interesting. like spin art.

14. What is the biggest tattoo that you have and how long did it take?
the penis i got on my right thigh. im right-handed, so i figured i would "dress to the right" as well. and im not modest about my large piece of art either.

15. Have you ever gotten a tattoo of something just because it was funny or shocking?
well i got a didgeridoo on the other thigh to even it out, because that other thigh piece sure is a heavy tattoo...and i guess thats funny. i dont know. i thought it to be more practical than anything really.

16. Do you have any unfinished projects on you right now?
not really. i was going to get my favorite pair of chonclas on my left shoulder, but at the last minute i changed my mind and got a pelican taking a piss in the ocean and flicking off the sun.

17. Has anyone (i.e. parents or girlfriend/boyfriend) gotten pissed over a tattoo you got?
i let some guy from the bank piss ON several of my tattoos. twice.

18. Do you have any tattoos in places that most people don't get to see unless they see you naked?
apparently most people dont get the word, "NIOSA" tatted across their vagine. i was shocked to find that out. i happen to think its ultra sexy.

19. Do you have any people tattooed on you?
i have a whole crowd on my torso that is all fighting and climbing over each other in order to peek inside my bellybutton. its so realistic and crazy. def one of my favs. thanks dylan!

20. Are you worried about what your tattoos will look like when you're old?
im not going to get "old". havent you ever read "tuck everlasting" fool? get a life.

21. Do you regret having gotten any of your tattoos?
i regret typing this rather than getting even more tattoos! im wasting so much time.

22. Would you consider ever getting any of your tattoos removed?
no i will just keep covering them and see what happens. lifes a beautiful journey, aint it?

23. What are you going to get for your next tattoo?
ive already got my gun out, holmes. its gonna be "ride till i die" on a banner across my chest.

24. Do you think members of the opposite sex with a lot of tattoos are hot?
i guess theyd be hot if they had sleeves done and it was a hot summers day.

END SCENE.

PS-I'm funny.
PPS-If you don't think I'm funny, you're mean. R U D E.
PPPS-^That kind of says "PeePees" :)
PPPPS-If I offended you, that's weird. And I apologize.
PPPPPS-At this time, my Myspace name was apparently "penis longoria", which is awesome I guess, but weird...& I don't really remember how or why that came about. At all. But it makes me giggle :)
PPPPPPS-I know no one by the name of "Patricia" or "Dylan".
PPPPPPPS-I don't have a single tattoo, FYI.


YAY WEEKEND!
Penis Longoria, OUT!

I apologize in advance for my appearance & behavior. And now, a rant...



JUST SO YOU KNOW! Where did those breastmonsters in my dress come from? My boobs look huge (to me, anyway), while they are in fact, not huge at all. Please ignore those, & don't get excited, or disgusted, whichever of the two you were planning on doing. Don't do it. Please be nice to me :/ ALSO, if you are a creepo like me & you plan on clicking on that video to open it in youtube to see my profile & what other videos I might have...yes I do have about 15 I think, but they're all from 2006 & 2007. So don't judge me, homeskilley. That was a LONG time ago. Ok, moving along now, to happy things...


Stolen from EtsyFrontPagers on flickr.

I was on the front page again! I was excited, because sales have been super slow, & this gave me a push to keep going. Then yesterday, I made 4 sales! Hell yes! It feels like forever since that's happened, so I was definitely in the best mood last night. Also, I ran a lot, so that helped.

I have been creating my little ass off (so my belly may not be small, but my bottom is almost non existant. Pancake bottom, if you will). I have...I believe 20 new pairs of earrings to add. Some are for my new "Spoil Yourself" collection. That might be the dumbest name ever, but I like it. You'll get it. It'll grow on ya. All these new goodies will be available in my shop soon!

I'm sorry for being absent the past couple of days. And now, I have to get ready to go to WORK WORK go to WORK. Oh, Fergie.

Yall be good now, ya heard. No, I don't really talk like that, you bunch of crazies,
Jenna :/

PS-Yes, that's usually a happy face up there, but that comment today made me a sad little Yenna. I will run more tonight and be a HAPPY YENNA again! Last night's results...5.46 miles, burned 614 calories! YAY! Mon night...4.99 miles, 560 calories! Yes I document this shit! Are you kidding?! It keeps me motivated!

by Simon Crubellier on flickr.



by tunatoss on flickr.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY, FOOLS!


I hope it's absolutely wonderful. I'm off to work :(

Love with all my big ol little heart,
Jennapoo

Olive Susanne! She is perfect!

I can't wait to meet my little niece. My brother Jacob sounded so happy on the phone; I nearly cried. His wife Ginger also has 2 little girls, Natalie & Sophie. I haven't gotten to meet any of them yet because they live states away, so I have THREE nieces & a sister in law to meet! I get to see them in August & I am so excited. Sorry for the lack of posts; I am out of town for my "niece" (my good friend's daughter) Olivia's 4th bday. She's one of the most gorgeous little ones you will ever see. So sweet & silly. I will be back tomorrow with a fresh new post. For now, more peectures of the newest member of my family. Sorry for the lack of quality; all I have are cam phone pictures so far!






YAY FOR BABIES!:)

Jenna

Today was a relaxing yet exciting day. I have a lot of photos to share with you because of that, so be patient! First off, I finally finished my mini update...


CLICK TO VISIT MY SHOP! :)

Now that that's out of the way, I have something important to tell you. My oldest nephew, my little baby nephew Ethan, turned 14 today. Let me say that again, f o u r t e e n . I told him he's gross. 14 year old boys are gross. Haha. He knows I love him so much. That's so very strange to me. I'm 10 years older than him (I'll be 24 in October), so I made sure he knew how "old" he made me feel today. No, I don't think I'm old, but it feels so strange to me to think I have a teenage nephew. I told him last year on his 13th bday that he was gross then too. I know; I'm such a nice aunt. Actually, I'm his favorite, & he has a lot of aunts on his Dad's & Step Mom's sides. So HA on all of them. I talked to him for a good 30 minutes, & it made me realize how much I really miss him. He lives in Missouri & I'm in Texas. Doing grown up things makes it harder & harder to travel with my family, so I haven't seen him since 2007 :( That makes me so sad. I will see him in August though, along with the rest of my family. I'm excited! I taught Ethan about all of the important things in life, like poop, farts, & that I'm the prettiest girl in the world. He better remember all of that. I feel the need to post some pictures of my nephews now, so I shall indeed...




a Photos in my bedroom of the first time I held Ethan (1995) & Louis (2000). b Holding those beautiful boys again, back in 2003, when I had jowls. & awful hair. c Being silly the summer of 2005. I know; my tongue is ridiculous man! d Summer of 05 again. My nephew is adorable, & I don't know why he looks like a turtle in the photo.



e & f Christmas 2005, with Ethan, then Louis. I discovered the brightness & contrast feature on Paint Shop Pro around the end of 05. Can you tell?



g Fighting like gangsters; Christmas 05. h My nephews were cute Christmas of 2006, but my toupee hair was NOT. i & j I guess Christmas of 2007 is when they decided taking pictures with me wasn't cool anymore :( haha. I LOVE THESE BOYS! I love their Mom just as much. I'm praying for her. She's going to be going through something tough the next few days, so even though you don't know her whatsoever, it would be nice if she could be in your thoughts, at least a little bit.


Guess who else celebrated a birthday today? My good ol baby dog Baxter turned TWO! That's fourteen in dog years, so Ethan & Baxter celebrated the same birthday together...but apart...and they've never met...neat? I don't know. Anyway, we went to the Arboretum & took the puppies for an hour long walk. It was HOT but they loved it. The squirrels drove them nuts. I took some lovely photos...




This totally happened.








I don't know what kind of plants those were up there...but they are damn pretty, aren't they? I know, I know. Wonderful. You know what's NOT wonderful? The fact that I was on such a good roll with going to the gym...then I didn't go for 3 days. I felt so guilty! Two of those days I thought the gym closed later than it did. Who closes at 10 on Fri & 8 on Sat??? LA Fitness, apparently. Oh well. I went back tonight just in time to run for 45 mins. I ran 4.11 miles & burned 458 calories. I know I can do better, so I wasn't TOO impressed with myself, but it was way more worthwhile than not going at all! Then, when I came home in an awesome mood, made an awesome smoothie (I'm telling you people, you need to add Medjool dates! AWESOME!), checked my awesome email, I saw I had an awesome message from an awesome Etsian! My friend Amy from SparkleRocks told me that I was on the front page again! AWESOME. I will stop saying that now; promise. It's been a long time since I've been on there, & sales have been slooow, so I was excited. I checked Etsy & I happened to be on at that moment!



Then, I sold my little deer dish! I was happy yet sad at the same time, because I love it so much. It was inspired by my puppy Baxter, so how appropriate that it was featured & sold on his bday! Right? I know. Neatooo. The buyer was also a sweet mama named Alexis who happened to feature me on her blog, The Posh Passy.
THANK YOU, ALEXIS! Her blog is adorable, so make sure you check it out!

That's all for tonight, folks.
Jenna :)

PS-I LOVE YOU BIG SEESTER. You are in my thoughts, always. I wish the best comes out of this shituation.

I'm so wooooood.
I love wood grain. I think the whole style of wood grain prints became really popular again several years ago (if I remember accurately, if not then I sound like a big idiot), & since then it has really had quite some staying power. For me personally, I can't get enough of it. Those cute little Etsy finds remind me of a project that has been written down in one of my gajillion brainstorming notebooks & has been stuck in my mind ever since. Now I am reminded of this lovely little project (that I hope turns out just as great as I imagine in my head! Don't you hate it when that DOESN'T happen?! AHH). I have the weekend off, so it's definitely CRAFT TIME.

Here's where to find those wood inspired goods...

1 "Pile o Wood" by Geninne
2 "MAGNETIC Inspiration Memo Board Faux Bois in Magenta and Green" by shabbyvintagemom
3 "The Friendly Log (mini)" by TheMakers

Since I can't talk about wood that much without giggling a lot, here are some other things that make me giggle. Tons.


"MATURE - The Man Candy Coloring Book - Adults Only" by interrobang
This coloring book is funny on its own, because of the concept alone. Then you have to think about the fact that real men actually make these dumb poses for photos. Granted, these are a little better than the spread eagle route some ladies choose to travel, but still. Grown men posin nekked. It's a silly thought, isn't it?! When I was a child, I loved coloring. I still do, but now I am an adult (do I HAVE to be one, already?! I'm only 23 and a half!). And now, being an adult, it's only right for me to grow up & get an adult coloring book. These are the necessary steps we have to take in life in order to grow up. And grow up I shall. Now, where are my crayolas & safety scissors? I'ma make my mom some pwetty awt fow the fwidge.



"monkeys (letterpress print)"> by johnhilljr
Umm...I totally don't get this, & that's awesome. Monkies flinging pooh? HA! Saggy utters & what appear to be body scabs? SOLD! The style of this print reminds me of Garbage Pail Kids. Remember those? The monkey on the left looks worried..."Oh, it's falling out, let me catch it for you..." haha. I love this. I would totally hang it up in my house. Geeze, check me out, with my love of anything poop related.


"Slut Pregnant Card" by goatcards
Ok, this just makes me laugh. I just know my friends so well, & they're the kind of people who would get great joy in receiving this along with their baby shower gift. If I was having a litter, I'd love to get this card from a loving chum! Remember that folks. :) If you ARE offended in any way, remember this is something you give to a loved one as a joke because it's unexpected, & you know what they had to do to get that baby in the first place. JUMP ON IT ;) This is NOT a card you give to someone you dislike (unless they're a complete bitch, then go ahead), someone who is having a particularly rough time & extremely emotional pregnancy, or a stranger on the street. You don't know their situation. Don't judge, holmes. Now that that's clear, we can move on...goatcards also had a fabulous card that stated something along the lines of "Congratulations on your wedding...Thanks for the free booze", which would have been TOTALLY appropriate for my friend Laura's wedding. I'm sorry dear. I'm glad I didn't do anything ridiculous though! Even if I had, there were enough drunk people there, that my shenanigans would've gone unnoticed. The best man passed out sitting up, so I think I'm golden over here.

Speaking of saucin it up, that was one of the last times I drank. I haven't had a sip of alcohol all of 2009! Wow; it's going by so fast. We're already half way through with this year. Very weird to think about actually. I wish I had enough time to get all of the things accomplished that I intended to for this year. I guess I still have 6 months, huh...

Have a great weekend homies & homettes,
Jenna Michelle :)

My new blogger friend Melisa is having a giveaway at her absolutely adorable blog Humble Happenings! Hurry up & enter (all you have to do is leave a comment!) to win the following loot...

The giveaway ends June 30th! Speaking of giveaways, I am planning on doing one in the near future! Yeeee!

Well I have a bunch of silly things I want to show you, but I am totally not feeling the sillyness right now. I know that's a big bummer but I'm sorry. I'd rather save a silly post for when I am feeling awesome & at a writing peak, you know? I don't want to half ass it & make you question even reading my blog anymore. That would be a bad scenario for everyone. AHH THE CUTEST THING IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW! My puppy Layla is asleep next to me & she just put her little paw up on my arm. She loves her Mom :)

I can't leave you with 2 short & sweet posts in a row, because that's just wrong. So, please check out this fabulous felted concoction...



A Pee Wee Herman Finger Puppet! How awesome is that?! You can find it in Abbey Christine's Etsy shop. Abbey must've grown up with the greatness that is Pee Wee just as I did. I wonder if her parents taped it for her too? Oh, VHS. Back in the day. The theme song still makes me happy.



That better make you happy too, or we're not friends anymore. Ok, I lied.

BFFL,
Jenna :)