Friday, July 10, 2009

Penis Longoria.

I was on Myspace today & when I checked my mail, I noticed a little bar telling me I could add a search feature to my mail, & naturally I thought, "This could be handy..." & handy it was. My friend Amy & I were just talking the other day, & we remembered a survey I posted in a bulletin years ago (come to find out it was March 1, 2007 to be exact), & tons of people replied to it, because I'm a silly little bitch. I knew it was hiding in my inbox, just waiting to be found, just waiting to be relived, but alas...I have 500 pages of messages in my inbox on Myspace & it would take me forever to find it. Welllll, not anymore :) I searched & FOUND my survey I took :) Enjoy...

Subject: about my tattoos. i have like 18.
Body: If you have ink, do this survey. Its fun!

1. How many tattoos do you have?:
i already said like 18.

2. When did you get your first tattoo?:
as soon as i came out of the womb. my parents tattooed "FINKE" across my back in an old english style font.

3. What was your first tattoo?
a tiger followed by the phrase "i aint never scared" on my right calf. i got it done when i was in nam.

4. Which tattoo is closest to your heart?
the sweet ass soccer ball i got tattooed on my left tit.

5. Do you have a matching tattoo with someone?:
yeah, my best friend patricia and i got the iguanas hockey team logo on our ribcages. man was that a crazy tuesday! no more drinking on our lunchbreak! but it was worth getting fired, right patty?

6. Do you have a tattoo that someone messed up?
i was supposed to get "no limits" on my lower back, but they accidentally put "no boundaries" and i am not a walmart poster child, so i got it covered. its now a tarantula eating its offspring and
george w smith headbanging out of control. its actually a hologram. if i dance all sexy, you can see him jam out. with his clam out.

7. Do you have any one's name tattooed on you?
sure do. i have a huge piece on my back with all the signatures on the declaration of independence. john hancocks is the biggest, naturally. thats what she said. ;)

8. What was the most painful tattoo you received?
the members of "tatu" on each foot.

9. Have you ever cried during a tattoo?
no. im a winner. winners dont cry. WINNERS NEVER CRY.

11. Do you have a tattoo that you constantly have to explain?
the dodge durango i got on my face. that was probably not a good choice.

12. Have you ever gotten an infection from a tattoo?
hepatitis a. through z.

13. What is the longest session you've ever sat straight?
i like to wiggle a lot to make it more interesting. like spin art.

14. What is the biggest tattoo that you have and how long did it take?
the penis i got on my right thigh. im right-handed, so i figured i would "dress to the right" as well. and im not modest about my large piece of art either.

15. Have you ever gotten a tattoo of something just because it was funny or shocking?
well i got a didgeridoo on the other thigh to even it out, because that other thigh piece sure is a heavy tattoo...and i guess thats funny. i dont know. i thought it to be more practical than anything really.

16. Do you have any unfinished projects on you right now?
not really. i was going to get my favorite pair of chonclas on my left shoulder, but at the last minute i changed my mind and got a pelican taking a piss in the ocean and flicking off the sun.

17. Has anyone (i.e. parents or girlfriend/boyfriend) gotten pissed over a tattoo you got?
i let some guy from the bank piss ON several of my tattoos. twice.

18. Do you have any tattoos in places that most people don't get to see unless they see you naked?
apparently most people dont get the word, "NIOSA" tatted across their vagine. i was shocked to find that out. i happen to think its ultra sexy.

19. Do you have any people tattooed on you?
i have a whole crowd on my torso that is all fighting and climbing over each other in order to peek inside my bellybutton. its so realistic and crazy. def one of my favs. thanks dylan!

20. Are you worried about what your tattoos will look like when you're old?
im not going to get "old". havent you ever read "tuck everlasting" fool? get a life.

21. Do you regret having gotten any of your tattoos?
i regret typing this rather than getting even more tattoos! im wasting so much time.

22. Would you consider ever getting any of your tattoos removed?
no i will just keep covering them and see what happens. lifes a beautiful journey, aint it?

23. What are you going to get for your next tattoo?
ive already got my gun out, holmes. its gonna be "ride till i die" on a banner across my chest.

24. Do you think members of the opposite sex with a lot of tattoos are hot?
i guess theyd be hot if they had sleeves done and it was a hot summers day.


PS-I'm funny.
PPS-If you don't think I'm funny, you're mean. R U D E.
PPPS-^That kind of says "PeePees" :)
PPPPS-If I offended you, that's weird. And I apologize.
PPPPPS-At this time, my Myspace name was apparently "penis longoria", which is awesome I guess, but weird...& I don't really remember how or why that came about. At all. But it makes me giggle :)
PPPPPPS-I know no one by the name of "Patricia" or "Dylan".
PPPPPPPS-I don't have a single tattoo, FYI.

Penis Longoria, OUT!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Completely inappropriate stranger comment.

I apologize in advance for my appearance & behavior. And now, a rant...

JUST SO YOU KNOW! Where did those breastmonsters in my dress come from? My boobs look huge (to me, anyway), while they are in fact, not huge at all. Please ignore those, & don't get excited, or disgusted, whichever of the two you were planning on doing. Don't do it. Please be nice to me :/ ALSO, if you are a creepo like me & you plan on clicking on that video to open it in youtube to see my profile & what other videos I might have...yes I do have about 15 I think, but they're all from 2006 & 2007. So don't judge me, homeskilley. That was a LONG time ago. Ok, moving along now, to happy things...

Etsy Front Page 7/1/09 stylinstuff
Stolen from EtsyFrontPagers on flickr.

I was on the front page again! I was excited, because sales have been super slow, & this gave me a push to keep going. Then yesterday, I made 4 sales! Hell yes! It feels like forever since that's happened, so I was definitely in the best mood last night. Also, I ran a lot, so that helped.

I have been creating my little ass off (so my belly may not be small, but my bottom is almost non existant. Pancake bottom, if you will). I have...I believe 20 new pairs of earrings to add. Some are for my new "Spoil Yourself" collection. That might be the dumbest name ever, but I like it. You'll get it. It'll grow on ya. All these new goodies will be available in my shop soon!

I'm sorry for being absent the past couple of days. And now, I have to get ready to go to WORK WORK go to WORK. Oh, Fergie.

Yall be good now, ya heard. No, I don't really talk like that, you bunch of crazies,
Jenna :/

PS-Yes, that's usually a happy face up there, but that comment today made me a sad little Yenna. I will run more tonight and be a HAPPY YENNA again! Last night's results...5.46 miles, burned 614 calories! YAY! Mon night...4.99 miles, 560 calories! Yes I document this shit! Are you kidding?! It keeps me motivated!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Fourth of July

Fireworks, Primrose Hill

by Simon Crubellier on flickr.


by tunatoss on flickr.


I hope it's absolutely wonderful. I'm off to work :(

Love with all my big ol little heart,

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

I have a niece!

I have a niece!
Olive Susanne! She is perfect!

I can't wait to meet my little niece. My brother Jacob sounded so happy on the phone; I nearly cried. His wife Ginger also has 2 little girls, Natalie & Sophie. I haven't gotten to meet any of them yet because they live states away, so I have THREE nieces & a sister in law to meet! I get to see them in August & I am so excited. Sorry for the lack of posts; I am out of town for my "niece" (my good friend's daughter) Olivia's 4th bday. She's one of the most gorgeous little ones you will ever see. So sweet & silly. I will be back tomorrow with a fresh new post. For now, more peectures of the newest member of my family. Sorry for the lack of quality; all I have are cam phone pictures so far!

My brother and his baby!
My sister in law & her baby!